Love FrogKisser

Transforming Your Love Life

Q/A with Jess Tomlinson, Radiant Love Coach

Q: Should I be happy by myself before I seek out a relationship?

A: Many people come to me for support in attracting the love they deserve, and at first they are super gung-ho: "YES! I want a relationship!" But somewhere in between that passionate longing for love, they take two steps back and say..."But, I think I should really just focus on myself right now." 

While I whole-heartedly agree that "Me Time" and self care is SUPER important, we can also use them as excuses to avoid simply wanting what we want: Big Meaningful Love. 

Now, let me first confess that I used to believe that in order to love someone, you had to fully love yourself. But this simply isn't true. Afterall, are we ever done growing and evolving? From my own experience, I've continued to work on myself for years - diving into personal development, spiritual retreats and investing in multiple mentors and coaches. I won't stop doing this. And yet, along this path of self love, I've never lost that deep yearning for a soul partner. Self love and romantic love with an amazing partner are NOT the same thing. 

What I wish for you is to give yourself permission to feel this longing, to accept that it's okay to want a relationship, and no, you don't have to be 100% happy with yourself before you enter into a relationship. It's actually beautiful to admit you desire love. And I'm here cheering you on telling you that you can blaze the self love and romantic love paths at the same time!