Love FrogKisser

Transforming Your Love Life

Your "Dream List" Needs to Be Shredded

By Jess Tomlinson

Rip up the Dream Man/Woman List

Admit it. You've scribbled down all of their qualities, right? Tall. Dark hair. Blue eyes. Smart. Funny. Nice teeth. I've had many "Dream Man" lists in my day...they have evolved over time (usually just getting longer!) I used to think this was a great way to "manifest" the Big Meaningful Love I deserved. Law of attraction, right? Speak what you want, and it will come to you. 

But here's why your Dream Man/Woman List is actually a horrible idea: 
It completely bypasses the important qualities you want in a partner.

What are the important qualities? It's actually not what they look like, or even who they are...it's how they make you FEEL.

Because here's the thing...you aren't going to go to your friends and say: "I met the person of my dreams! They are soooooo tall/smart/funny/have great teeth."

You are going to go to your friends and say: "I met the person of my dreams! They looked at me the other day, and all I felt was pureadoration and acceptance of who I truly am."

So, rip up that List, toss it in the trash, and create a new list: "How I Want to Feel in Love & Relationship." (Bonus tip: Get real..."happy" is a nice feeling, but it isn't specific...how do you really want to feel?)